obnoxiosity overheard yesterday--

Tim the Barman: hey walker, walker, what can i get you?

Walker: hmm?

Tim the Barman: walker, that's your last name isn't it?

Walker: yes, it is. you can preface that with "doctor" if you want to be completely formal.

boy oh boy, i feel like i never have any free time, but when i do, here i sit at 1 o'the clock reading the internet. really, really--i sincerely believe there is a better thought in my head than that, but there you have it. a sucktastic thought, and boy howdy i blogged it for eternity.

in general i would consider myself a gourmand, both in thought (sucktastic tonight), and taste. for this reason, i must report to you that if i could have one wish right now, it would be that i had more than one can of schlitz to drink. so see, i revel in sucktastic taste sometimes, too. don't be deceived completely though, because i had some chimay last night, and it was mighty fine. but bitter, tasteless beer is sometimes better for the everyday. if i were drinking champagne right now, believe me it would indicate nothing other than me being the sort of person you would never ever want to know; but if i were drinking the champagne of beers, it would be a whole other matter entirely.

i consider my virtue now proven. QED.

the other night i went with joe and jennifer to the bronx zoo. for reference, the bronx zoo could not have been designed with less thought to pedestrians, but what do you really want? da red carpet? of course not, so i found the half hour walk through the bronx to be refreshing. at the zoo itself (after walking through parking-lot booths to enter) there were christmas lights and animals. most of the animals looked to be fairly unupset that i was looking at them. the tigers had a lot of poise and dignity, but might have liked the floodlights to be turned off. you see, the boy tiger wanted to have sex, but the girl tiger did not. it takes two to tango, she escaped, and he rolled around on the ground and made plaintive howling noises.

as always at the zoo, one's fellow zoo-goers are at least as interesting and not nearly as sympathetic as the animals. my favorites of these were the children banging on the plexiglass up against the head of the sleeping king cobra. kids, if you want to see it fly off the handle, it will grant you no such satisfaction. this is a wily animal. its whole life is plexiglass and banging, and it knows not to take the bait. because animals are not stupid.