here is what i don't like about any italian and/or greek restaurant: the owner is there--he is, right?--and while the staff works, and you eat and try to talk, he's there, and he's watching it all. like a hawk.

for the second year, mia and i had people over for easter. the people who, like us, aren't going to go anywhere, aren't going to see anyone; the people who, like us, might spend easter sitting in port authority on top of a heating vent, going through the garbage for the daily news and half a cup of coffee to feed to the stray cats. and rather than risk a nightstick on the head individually, why not do easter all together? perfect.


jamie, lambs

what i notice is that last year easter was halfway through march, before the time change, and it was dark and cold. and this year it was light and airy. how different. both are good. colors things.

every april i TA a lab for a freshman class in the department. the positive factors of this include meeting all of them and getting to ask them stupid questions, like where they grew up, etc, what have you. another plus is being able to complain about it. right? it's nice to complain. this week i do lab sessions twice a day every day--one in the morning and one in the afternoon--and it makes me exhausted.

as with most things, the work itself is not that hard, and the things that exhaust you aren't easy to pick up on from the outside. i get tired because teaching feels like performance. i mean, i used to be a teacher, and it reminded me of another job i used to have that required effort--being a bartender. they both require getting into character. having lines.

so i'm tired. yesterday i went for lunch after my second lab session, expecting to be alone, but i ran into nick and a visiting friend of his. i sat down to eat with them, but i felt really out of it. i explained my spacey demeanor, and nick's friend said it was nice to meet me anyway. to which i said, "i'm gonna go lie down now in a dark room and close my eyes."

nick said, to her, "josh says a lot of really dark things, but he doesn't really mean any of it."

this morning at the park--i wanna tell you what i saw:

on a park bench, there was a guy sitting. he was twenty or so, and he had on kind of a stylish track suit thing. fancy black sneakers, and a fancy knicks hat. a big backpack. there were i-pod things in his ears, and he had on glasses--not cool glasses, but kind of nerdy. like, ever so slightly. you know raj on what's happenin? reminded me of him.

sitting position, passed out cold, bottle of hennessy in his hand, drunk one-third down. sleeping peacefully.

clearly, he had given up hennessy for lent. happy easter!

here are the two notes on my desk:

Josh,
      Sure,
      Use the PStat.
-Bob


Josh -
      I stole 2 nickles
      & a dime from you
      & replaced w/ a quarter

for some reason i like those. this is what the internet is for, right? am i using it correctly?

the weather is perverted, right? this morning it was crisp and dreary. at noon, snow was pouring down. then, about half an hour ago, i went outside, and it's warm in the sun, and it's really nice, and i sat down for a while.

it's midnight on a friday night, you on the corner of 14th and 4th avenue. everything driving by is a cab, all full, and every person you see is pointed in a different plaintive direction, arm in the air. you'll never get a cab to stop for you.

but hark, suppose you do. duplicity must be involved, but this is darwinian behavior on a harmless scale. it's okay. you both get in the cab, and you give the directions.

astoria, please. take the 59th street bridge. the guy driving doesn't seem put-out at all. he doesn't give you any lies about how he can't take you to queens. his response is banal: "take the lower level? we take the lower level?"

but. but, then you're in queens. he did a fine job getting you there, you even think. but then the directions and their reaction become odd.

take northern boulevard, and go right on 33rd street.

"a right? jesus. you said a right, right?"

right, a right.

"shit. jesus. okay, we keep going?"

please.

"jesus. jesus." "sigh. shit."

"shit. jesus christ. so you want me go left here? go left here?"

take a left please, yes.

"shit. jesus."

he looks around. "shit."